shocked and so sad

It's 10:13 pm here and I cannot sleep because I am in disbelief that America has chosen him to be our leader.  I'm speechless.   Andie has cried herself to sleep and I'm ready to do the same.  I started the day off so hopeful.   I believed in the history we were making.  Now.... now I don't even know what to think or believe.  I know I need to show hope for my daughters.....but I just feel so despondent.   I need a day to grieve before I can put on a hopeful face.   I'm so sad for what this means for America and what the majority of our population feels.....    Hearing my mom's voice was tough too...

I can say I'm so glad I don't live there.  I love living in my little happy bubble in the South Pacific.  I do feel sorry for the people who do....not the privileged Americans who I know.....but the immigrants and refugees and women and Muslims and children and everyone else.....

Here are a few things......   and a few pictures of the more hopeful/happy/historical part of my day and some articles/posts that resonate with me.

HRC

Painting nails to get ready.

blue beer and a smile on his face...still early

good food spread

Ms. Pantsuit, you can just call her NASTY

still feeling positive at that point....

You can tell I am starting to get nervous here....

blue drink...

Hillary casserole

the start........

towards the end

Girls doing a cheer for Hillary

A post from Pantsuit Nation- my inspiration all day.  Love that group....

Jennica Sherwood‎ to Pantsuit Nation

40 mins · Seattle, WA, United States · 

Things this election can't take from me:

-My integrity
-My feminism
-My belief that Black Lives Matter
-My respect for the immigrant and minority communities who have shaped America since day one, and my compassion for their plight
-My love and support of the LGBT community
-My hope that America will put down its guns
-My desire to understand an America I clearly did not know well enough
-My ability to organize and act
-My hope

A good article I just read:

http://www.slate.com/articles/life/family/2016/11/talking_to_kids_especially_daughters_about_a_donald_trump_presidential_victory.html


A picture of my friend's daughter's watching the results with us.  Heartbreaking....

This was just written by John Pavlovitz and it describes my grief perfectly:

I think you think this is about politics. 

I think you believe this is all just sour grapes; the crocodile tears of the losing locker room with the scoreboard going against us at the buzzer.

I can only tell you that you’re wrong. This is not about losing an election.This isn’t about not winning a contest. This is about two very different ways of seeing the world.

Hillary supporters believe in a diverse America; one where religion or skin color or sexual orientation or place of birth aren’t liabilities or deficiencies or moral defects. Her campaign was one of inclusion and connection and interdependency. It was about building bridges and breaking ceilings. It was about going high. 

Trump supporters believe in a very selective America; one that is largely white and straight and Christian, and the voting verified this. Donald Trump has never made any assertions otherwise. He ran a campaign of fear and exclusion and isolation—and that’s the vision of the world those who voted for him have endorsed.

They have aligned with the wall-builder and the professed p*ssy-grabber, and they have co-signed his body of work, regardless of the reasons they give for their vote:

Every horrible thing Donald Trump ever said about women or Muslims or people of color has now been validated.
Every profanity-laced press conference and every call to bully protestors and every ignorant diatribe has been endorsed.
Every piece of anti-LGBTQ legislation Mike Pence has championed has been signed-off on.

Half of our country has declared these things acceptable, noble,American. 

This is the disconnect and the source of our grief today. It isn’t a political defeat that we’re lamenting, it’s a defeat for Humanity.

We’re not angry that our candidate lost. We’re angry because our candidate’s losing means this country will be less safe, less kind, and less available to a huge segment of its population, and that’s just the truth.

Those who have always felt vulnerable are now left more so. Those whose voices have been silenced will be further quieted. Those who always felt marginalized will be pushed further to the periphery. Those who feared they were seen as inferior now have confirmation in actual percentages.

Those things have essentially been campaign promises of Donald Trump, and so many of our fellow citizens have said this is what they want too.  

This has never been about politics.
This is not about one candidate over the other.
It’s not about one’s ideas over another’s.
It is not blue vs. red.
It’s not her emails vs. his bad language.
It’s not her dishonesty vs. his indecency.

It’s about overt racism and hostility toward minorities.
It’s about religion being weaponized.
It’s about crassness and vulgarity and disregard for women.
It’s about a barricaded, militarized, bully nation.
It’s about an unapologetic, open-faced ugliness.

And it is not only that these things have been ratified by our nation that grieve us; all this hatred, fear, racism, bigotry, and intolerance—it’s knowing that these things have been amen-ed by our neighbors, our families, our friends, those we work with and worship alongside. That is the most horrific thing of all. We now know how close this is.

It feels like living in enemy territory being here now, and there’s no way around that. We wake up today in a home we no longer recognize. We are grieving the loss of a place we used to love but no longer do. This may be America today but it is not the America we believe in or recognize or want.

This is not about a difference of political opinion, as that’s far too small to mourn over. It’s about a fundamental difference in how we view the worth of all people—not just those who look or talk or think or vote the way we do.

Grief always laments what might have been, the future we were robbed of, the tomorrow that we won’t get to see, and that is what we walk through today. As a nation we had an opportunity to affirm the beauty of our diversity this day, to choose ideas over sound bytes, to let everyone know they had a place at the table, to be the beacon of goodness and decency we imagine that we are—and we said no.

The Scriptures say that weeping endures for a night but joy comes in the morning. We can’t see that dawn coming any time soon.

And this is why we grieve.

This is a Facebook post of a dear friend:

Dear Alice and Charlie. I am sorry. I am so so sorry. 8 years ago we thought we were on the path to leave you a better world than we found, just like our parents and grand parents did.Yes, we didn't quite have the whole climate change thing under control yet, but there was hope. But we didn't. We will not leave you a better world. Tonight we failed you beyond what we could have imagined. I am no sure how it happened. People will offer plenty of theories. But in the end, we thought the world was in a better place than it actually is. There are still too many people out there who think that it is ok to be racist and sexist and to leave poor people in the gutter. We will keep on fighting. Your mom and I, our friends, and our families just do not know any other way. I am not sure how yet. It is difficult to even think about getting back up right now. But we will. We have no other choice. And yet I know that no matter how much we fight, sadly the work will not be done when you come of age. I apologize for that. Maybe it never will be. I need you, and your cousins, and friends to know, however, that wherever they hail from, whatever the color of their skin, whether they are girls or boys, there is nothing they cannot accomplish. There is no place where you and your friends don't belong. In the end we wil overcome. You will overcome. You have to. You are the future and have to be better than we are. I love you more than you can ever imagine.

Here is a letter from my friend's kids' principal in Brooklyn..... crazy that principals are sending letters:

Dear Families, After last night’s election, I felt compelled to do something for our staff and students.  It was an emotional night and I can imagine how our community is feeling after this tumultuous election.  The first thing I thought is, what will we tell the children?  How will I inspire my staff and community?  Today we started with a restorative circle for the staff.  How can the staff take care of our children without first unpacking all the emotional burdens they may carry?  Teachers were allowed to unpack their feelings and discuss how we can support our children.  From the article “What do we tell the children?”  “Tell them, first, that we will protect them.  Tell them, that you will honor the outcome of the election, but that you will fight bigotry.  Tell them bigotry is not a democratic value, and it will not be tolerated at our school.” Each classroom will have done a restorative circle this morning, where children are allowed to unpack their feeling and rule out any confusions around the democratic process.  The most important message is that we, the adults, are here to protect them.  We as a school are going to work towards protecting the democratic process. We can look to history for examples of times when we as people came together in moments that felt very hard.  Jackie Allen, I.A. Principal