The Monologue Showcase!

As I've mentioned I have been taking an acting class with Matt Young Company every Thursday night for the past 8 weeks. I loved putting myself out there and trying something new. I was a little nervous before every class, but at the end of each class I was so happy I went. I loved that my brain was in a completely different space for two hours a week. It was good to stretch myself and let some of my inhibitions go. I was thrilled to be a part of it all...until it came down to the week we actually had to perform our monologues in front of an audience. Then, I felt sick. I really did't want to do it. I was SOOO nervous, even though my monologue was only 2 1/2 minutes and even though it was a small audience. I still felt like I was going to forget my lines and then throw up on the stage in front of everyone.

The night before the show, we rehearsed and it calmed my nerves a bit...but I still wasn't feeling stellar about the whole thing. I kept wondering why I had signed up for this. I rehearsed the monologue non-stop on Friday and knew I knew my lines....but wondered what would happen in front of everyone. Right before the show my heart was beating so loud I could feel it in my face and in my ears. I couldn't think straight. Then, about 5 minutes before we went on, I had this moment of clarity. I remembered a meditative yoga breath that I learned in pre-natal yoga 7 years ago. I walked off into a corner by myself and practiced the breath over and over and over. My heart stopped pounding and I felt nearly calm. Seconds before we walked on stage, instead of feeling nervous, I got excited! I was happy to do this and psyched that friends and family were there to support me.

The show started and I performed my monologue without forgetting my lines and without shaking the whole way through it. Before I knew it, the whole show was finished and I was bowing with my fellow acting classmates. I felt awesome!!! It was done! I did well! We all did amazingly well!

I love that I took that class. I love that I can feel proud of what I accomplished that night and overcame a serious fear. It feels real and alive. I also can safely say....I don't know that I'll do it again...but I am glad I did!