The Monologue Showcase!

As I've mentioned I have been taking an acting class with Matt Young Company every Thursday night for the past 8 weeks.   I loved putting myself out there and trying something new.  I was a little nervous before every class, but at the end of each class I was so happy I went.   I loved that my brain was in a completely different space for two hours a week.  It was good to stretch myself and let some of my inhibitions go.   I was thrilled to be a part of it all...until it came down to the week we actually had to perform our monologues in front of an audience.  Then, I felt sick.  I really did't want to do it.  I was SOOO nervous, even though my monologue was only 2 1/2 minutes and even though it was a small audience.   I still felt like I was going to forget my lines and then throw up on the stage in front of everyone.   

The night before the show, we rehearsed and it calmed my nerves a bit...but I still wasn't feeling stellar about the whole thing.  I kept wondering why I had signed up for this.  I rehearsed the monologue non-stop on Friday and knew I knew my lines....but wondered what would happen in front of everyone.  Right before the show my heart was beating so loud I could feel it in my face and in my ears.   I couldn't think straight.  Then, about 5 minutes before we went on, I had this moment of clarity.  I remembered a meditative yoga breath that I learned in pre-natal yoga 7 years ago.  I walked off into a corner by myself and practiced the breath over and over and over.   My heart stopped pounding and I felt nearly calm.  Seconds before we walked on stage, instead of feeling nervous, I got excited!  I was happy to do this and psyched that friends and family were there to support me. 

The show started and I performed my monologue without forgetting my lines and without shaking the whole way through it.   Before I knew it, the whole show was finished and I was bowing with my fellow acting classmates.  I felt awesome!!!  It was done! I did well!  We all did amazingly well!   

I love that I took that class.  I love that I can feel proud of what I accomplished that night and overcame a serious fear.   It feels real and alive.    I also can safely say....I don't know that I'll do it again...but I am glad I did!


The flyer for the monologue showcase

Before the show started.  (I was either freaking out or yoga breathing back stage at this point)

Me doing my monologue :)

The actors with Matt

Bonding post show- drinks at the Holiday Inn